Halloween is fun, scary and a great time for young and old alike. But it just might be more frightful than fun, if you get wrapped up in the drama with your EX rather than focusing on the kid(s).
All you have to remember is — nothing can be as scary as the headless horseman! So, keep your own head in place and go forth!
For divorced parents there’s really only one Halloween rule to remember: Kids Rule! This is the holiday where kids rule (unlike other holidays where you might be entertaining with grandparents, etc.) Ask your kids what they’d like to do. Is it the scary haunted house in Dad’s neighborhood? Is it hunting for the better candy in your neighborhood? Can they hit both neighborhoods in one night?
My children always knew what they wanted. (And yours probably do, too!) Tell them, “this is your day.” (Mom and Dad can’t be “witches.”) Maybe they’d even like for both of you to trick or treat with them. (I have done this in the past, and yes, in a high conflict divorce. It was uncomfortable for me, but I kept my mouth shut and the kids were overjoyed running from house to house.)
Maybe they’ll get their costumes on at one house and you’ll meet just before the trick or treating starts. Or if your children are older, maybe one of you drops them off at the middle school dance, and the other parent picks up!
If you are unable to share this holiday with them, (due to custody arrangements, work, or distance) be sure to contact your child. Wish them a happy, happy Halloween (and make dibs on your favorite candy). If you’re the EX in charge, save a few pieces of that favorite candy for the other EX who’s not there. It’s a nice gesture to share. As the saying goes, “sharing is caring.” And we all want to raise caring kids.