Selecting a mediator is not easy. If in the process of separation, divorce, custody disputes, or child support issues, follow these 10 easy steps to find the best mediator.
1. Mediator’s Training: training/certification — be sure your mediator specialized in family/divorce/child custody areas, and either has a law degree or has substantial understanding of the judicial process.
2. Knowledge of parenting issues and background in family law. There are plenty of mediators out there, to use one without a background in family law, divorce or child custody issues will not work to your best advantage. (i.e. Ask him/her if they have any experience in creating healthy parenting plans which include custody issues, vacation plans, etc.)
3. Knowledge of complex financial issues: If you have complex financial assets to divide, consider a mediator with an extensive financial and tax planning background (i.e. spousal planning, and business division, retirement, stock options assessment and other such matters).
4. Experience: verify at least 5 plus years experience. How many divorce cases has she/he mediated?
5. Provide references: Because mediation is confidential, the mediator may not be able to give you names of former clients. But he/she should be able to share names of other mediators, therapists, or attorneys who will vouch for his or her qualifications.
6. Explain all fees: (in writing) most mediators require payment at each session. Some will take a retainer up front. There may be a flat fee for preparation of the Memorandum of Understanding and the final document of the mediation. Add up all those fees!
7. Predict rough timeline: how much time is usually spent in mediation? (For your own mental health, it’s nice to have a rough idea.)
8. What is their mediation process? What are their philosophies if each of you can’t come to any agreements?
9. Explain possible benefits of mediation. Why mediate instead of using divorce attorneys to hash it out.
10. Can they mediate high conflict issues? Are high conflict issues such as child abuse, alcoholism, or addictions involved? If so, are they able to mediate through issues of abuse and addiction? If they say they have mediated through high conflict issues, be sure to ask how often and what were the outcomes?
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